Two characters, S & D, are trapped in a theater with an audience. They do not remember each others’ names, but appear to remember personal details from a long-ago friendship.
The curtain is pulled up to reveal an object: The Thing, a great big mountain of fabric and doors and pockets. It’s covered in moss and looks like a puppet from the Labryinth. S runs to it.
S: The plot is revealed! D–(She has forgotten his name)–Derek?
D: No one cares.
S: I care! I care what your name is!
D: Go away.
S leans over, investigating
S: Don’t do that to me. You’re just depressed. (BEAT) We can’t just leave it here.
D: We can do whatever we want.
S: We can’t. We haven’t been able to find a way out. (BEAT) It’s a biological imperative to investigate, Denis.
D: That may be yours; mine is to sit here and smoke. It is my biological imperative to ignore you when you get obsessive–and that is not my name–(turns)–holy shit.
S: Exactly.
D: Shut up. (Stands up, walks over, circling object)
S: They should see it. (Points to audience)
D: They can see just fine.
S: No, look at that woman (points to audience member), she’s DYING to know and be closer–
D: You’re projecting.
S: Stop psychoanalyzing me–(struggling to move the object–) to avoid your own issues. You’re deflecting.
D: I prefer it. Anyway, this is ours. They can’t have it.
S: Sharing is caring. (She moves it close to downstage; it’s heavy)
D: (raging) I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. (Walks downstage, sits on edge again. pulls blanket around him)
BEAT
S: Do you mean it? You don’t know who i am?
D: Do you know who I am?
S: (poking around object) I think there’s a door.
d: There isn’t.
S: You haven’t even looked at it.
D: I’ve seen enough.
S: (quietly, in awe) It’s–breathing.
D: (scrambles up) Shut the fuck up–
S: YOU shut up–
D: It can’t be.
S: Be. Quiet. (leans closer and listens)
D: Please be careful.
S: (holds hand up in silence)
D: this is insane, and asinine. i really wish you wouldn’t touch that thing–
S: (touching the Thing) Too late!
D: You woke it up!
S: Impossible. We just didn’t notice it breathing before–
D: Stop poking at it.
S: What if it needs us?
D: Now we’re both going to die of some horrible consequence. People in movies–there’s a bad thing and they shouldn’t touch it and they do and they die horrible deaths. You never could let anything go–
S: (turning angrily) How do you know I never let anything go?
D: (snubs her)
S: I’m sorry, look–I’m sorry. Just breathe for a minute, ok? I’m not going anywhere.
D: I never said you were.
S: But that’s what you’re afraid of most.
D: I’m not afraid of anything.
S: ok. Then come here, and help me. (D comes upstage, cautious) Maybe we need to love it.
D: We don’t know anything about it.
S: It’s obviously here to teach us something.
D: Nothing happens for a reason.
S: did i say the universe was an all-knowing being? I just said that maybe this thing wants to teach us something. (reaches out to touch it)
D: Don’t.
S: I want to. Maybe we should name it.
D: Look at it, the great big lump. It’s probably not even smart. But if it is–don’t touch it.
S: We don’t know anything. We need to know something.
D: You need to know something.
S: I’m going to call it–friend.
D: That’s not a name, that’s a noun.
S: (looking at the Thing lovingly) Don’t worry about him. You’re not a part of this.
D: What have we learned from before?
S: Avoid tweakers.
D: No, a big lesson.
S: Never trust the police.
D: (exasperatedly) To always make a plan, a plan that accounts for new things happening, but a plan that keeps our heads straight.
S: Oh. I’m sorry I keep forgetting, it’s just so hard here–
D: It’s ok. (they hold each other, grabbing by the elbows, face to face) I know this isn’t normal. I know we have both forgotten everything. But maybe there’s a reason…
Sarah Farnham 